Last thursday I learned of a new form of submission. I have been submitting to my "daddy" since February for discipline and have never not accepted the punishment's I have deserved. I had never realized there were more than one form of submissions.
I wasn't in the best of head space's after the remarkable 4 person rope train. I was watching everyone getting tied and being played with but my head was in deep thought on the actual word submissive. I was watching a very good friend who I found was in a complete mode of submission to her Dom and she hardly made a sound. She is so peaceful to watch and I yearned to feel what she was feeling. My lovely sister Becca noticed I wasn't in a good head space of course which I argued about with her but she can see right through me. She got the attention of one of the riggers there and asked him to tie me up. Biffdanger gladly said he would tie me up. It started like any other tie, a chest harness with my hands behind my back. I was watching everyone else and trying not to be too nervous because this was the first time I had played with him.
My head still wasn't on being tied up, it was just trying to hard to focus on life and all I wanted was to escape. The next thing I knew the rope was coming over my eyes. I smiled and got nervous on the inside. There were butterflies because the last time rope was over my eyes I had a panic attack. I didn't know what was going to happen but I trusted the person who came with this man therefore put my trust in this man. After 2 layers of rope went over my eyes I could feel myself kind of begin to drift off, then something that I have never experienced before happened. My mouth was opened and 2 layers of the rope was inserted into my mouth. I could no longer speak or see anything. The rope tightened around my mouth which felt amazing and I began to sore.
While in the rope some things got quite fuzzy and I don't remember everything that happened. The next point of the night that I do remember was feeling his arm around me and his breath in my ear and he spoke very quietly as if only for me to hear. "Hold still, this knife is very sharp." I froze, but something inside of me told me that this was ok. I didn't even feel like I could move, as if there was a spell put over me that had made me like petrified wood, solid except for a shiver here and there. "Can you be marked on your chest." I heard his voice again softly speak in my ear... I couldn't speak, I could barely put a thought together in my head... "uh huh." Noise is all I could manage, but I felt safe. I began yearning for to hear his voice. I could feel his touch and that is what I wanted. I felt a sharpness come across my breast' a few times as well as across my stomach and near my throat. I could feel the edge of the knife but it was ok.
The next feeling was incredibly remarkable yet scary. A very cold drop of liquid... my mind started racing. It couldn't be blood, blood is hot, this was freezing. What was going on? I had no idea but the feeling of the knife against me, the drop of the cold liquid against my hot body as if falling from the tip of the knife down my body is a sensation I can't describe. I don't know exactly how it was worded but at some point I consented to him putting his initials in the center of my chest right in the middle of the rope... as that happened I continued to float into the abyss.
The next thing I knew I was following every command, walking forward, turning around and anything he told me to do. I began yearning for his voice. As he held me close to him, I felt his hand go around my throat and lift up as I rose to my tip toes. I floated even farther away and then he put me back down and said don't move. I heard him say something and I began to come back down from floating very slowly.
I knew OSK was untying me because the touch wasn't the same. I could feel her yummy fingernails run down my arms and across my upper chest. There was something inside of me that was just yearning to feel him again next to me. To hear his voice tell me the next thing to do... all I wanted to hear was that deep soft voice whisper in my ear again.
As the night moved on, I was untied and sat with him as we discussed a little of the night. The rest of it was a pretty good blur because I was just on cloud nine and wanted to just lay down and be there. I didn't care too much of what was going on around me but it was incredible to float and I'll never forget that night. I have now had the amazing opportunity to feel an incredible way of submitting. One day I may just make a great full submissive.
After the first half, I was in pain but somewhat ok but was not ready for the second half. It came fast and hard.... I started to shake and yes I let some tears go. I couldn't help it. I also received 200 very hard swats. Christi was next and well I felt really bad for her. I went back to the corner trying to breathe. As Christi was strapped I held Nikki's hand because Christi was crying very badly. As Christi returned to the corner we were given permission to comfort her. We all held each other and it was a great cuddle time. Then Daddy came over to me and gave me a big hug and his wonderful kiss on the forehead like always. He's awesome.
